What Does Your Mask Look Like?

Hello, it has been a few days since my inspiring conversation with Dill Harris and Scout Finch. I know they are just children, but I can't get the fact out of my head that they really made me think about my choices in my life that I have made. I know that white people in this age aren't supposed to marry the coloured, or even really acknowledge them as a person for that matter. But this is what I chose to do with my life despite other people's rules and beliefs. Maybe I live like this to get over that I had a white woman before, and it turned out so terribly wrong that I do certain things to deal with the pain that she has left me. I know that these children have not seen enough of the world yet to fully understand the meaning of what I had told them a few days back, but they really made me understand something about myself. I started thinking about Scout's old man, Atticus Finch, and how he really doesn't hold anything back and he tells it how it is. Why can't I be as confident as him? Maybe he gets it from his lawyer instincts, but I just can't help but think... am I really that big of a coward as those children portrayed me? The massive juxtaposition of courage between myself and Atticus can be shown in many aspects of our lifestyles. Atticus teaches his children the necessary morals and values required in life, and I just send some of mine off to work and up north where they have to learn these things with their own personal experiences. I guess that is OK though, if you believe in that sort of thing. Atticus also stands up for what he believes in, like how he is representing Tom Robinson in his trial. Where as I just go around drinking my Coca-Cola, wearing a "mask". My mask is for only the town to see, for when I wear this mask, they have reasons for thinking why I live this way. Atticus doesn't need a mask, he is all natural. He likes the way he is, but is not afraid to show it either. In the end, this just shows you how you can live in the same town as someone, wear the same clothes as someone, but your mask will always look different than your neighbours.