What Does Your Mask Look Like?

Hello, it has been a few days since my inspiring conversation with Dill Harris and Scout Finch. I know they are just children, but I can't get the fact out of my head that they really made me think about my choices in my life that I have made. I know that white people in this age aren't supposed to marry the coloured, or even really acknowledge them as a person for that matter. But this is what I chose to do with my life despite other people's rules and beliefs. Maybe I live like this to get over that I had a white woman before, and it turned out so terribly wrong that I do certain things to deal with the pain that she has left me. I know that these children have not seen enough of the world yet to fully understand the meaning of what I had told them a few days back, but they really made me understand something about myself. I started thinking about Scout's old man, Atticus Finch, and how he really doesn't hold anything back and he tells it how it is. Why can't I be as confident as him? Maybe he gets it from his lawyer instincts, but I just can't help but think... am I really that big of a coward as those children portrayed me? The massive juxtaposition of courage between myself and Atticus can be shown in many aspects of our lifestyles. Atticus teaches his children the necessary morals and values required in life, and I just send some of mine off to work and up north where they have to learn these things with their own personal experiences. I guess that is OK though, if you believe in that sort of thing. Atticus also stands up for what he believes in, like how he is representing Tom Robinson in his trial. Where as I just go around drinking my Coca-Cola, wearing a "mask". My mask is for only the town to see, for when I wear this mask, they have reasons for thinking why I live this way. Atticus doesn't need a mask, he is all natural. He likes the way he is, but is not afraid to show it either. In the end, this just shows you how you can live in the same town as someone, wear the same clothes as someone, but your mask will always look different than your neighbours.

Hidden Behind My Paper Bag

Well it's me, Dolphus again. I just got back from the Robinson trial. It was the biggest, most interesting case i had ever witnessed (besides hearing about the Till Case. It was so horrifying, it shook up the whole South). Everyone in the room kept quiet, paying close attention to the speakers being Judge Taylor, My. Gilmer, Mr. Finch, and the witnesses, and what they had to say to contribute to the case. I stepped outside briefly to get a break from Mr. Gilmer's overwhelming cross-examination. I took a seat down by an old tree and got some fresh air as it was very hot and muggy inside the courthouse. I could faintly hear a noise as if someone was crying. The noise was getting closer so I peered around the tree and saw Scout Finch comforting little Dill Harris to make him stop crying. I guess he could not handle the cross-examination either. I could not believe that they had stayed in the courtroom for so long. The rape case was a very thought provoking trial and these children might get the wrong ideas from it. I ended up having a very interesting conversation with those two children. We talked a bit about the trial and I tried to mend Dill's behaviour by giving him a sip of my drink. It seems that I have a bit of a reputation around here, if you didn't already know. You see, I carry around this paper bag. And everybody seems to think that I have whiskey in there and that is why I live like I do. But when Dill took that first sip, he realized something about me, something that would ruin my reputation if it got around to the other folks in the county. The only thing I drank out of that crinkled, brown paper bag was Coca-Cola. Dill and Scout were in shock as everyone portrayed me, Dolphus Raymond, as Maycomb's finest drunk. I tried my best to explain to Dill and Scout why I pretend to be something I am not. Even though they are just children, I tried to tell them as much as I could and as best as I could. I said to them that if the people of the town think that I am in the clutches of whiskey, that I have a reason to live like I do, among the coloured folks. This is how I show them that I do not care what they think, without getting in any arguments that do not need to happen. I guess it is my way to deal...maybe one day Dill, Scout and the town will understand.

Maycomb County at its Worst

Hello, my name is Mr. Dolphus Raymond. I live in Maycomb County, and wish to tell you, my blog followers, a little bit about myself and how I got where I am today. I am an average white man, of average intelligence. A few years ago, I was to be married to a very nice white woman. After our wedding rehersal, she took her own life. No one really knows why she did it, but I believe she did not approve of my friend who was a coloured woman. This really saddened me as I reassured her many times before that we were only friends. All the other folks in town make up excuses and said I was a cheat, but they can think what they want. I am not too concerned. I currently live down near the county line with my coloured wife and our children. I know some people do not care for the choices I have made in my life, but I am happy with how things turned out and could not be more proud. Even though the Great Depression has really taken a beating on the town, my family and I are doing just fine. I own the whole one side of the river bank in Maycomb and come from a real old, wealthy family. The Depression has really damaged some folks in this town. They owe tons of money to other folks and the bank, and cannot afford the necessities for their wives and children. Personally, I think I am a great father to my children and I treat them with respect without stressing myself out along the way. Some people in this town look at my family like we're crazy, as if there is something wrong with us. So what if my wife is coloured, my children are half-black and half-white, or if we sit with the Negroes during church or at any other public place? It's our lifestyle and no one's opinion is going to change our beliefs. All the rumours begin with the people's boredom of Maycomb County, but one thing happening in the County is not a rumour. In a few days the town's most famous lawyer, Atticus Finch, will be representing a black man named Tom Robinson in a rape case involving Mayella Ewell. My family and I will be attending the trial to show our support for Tom. So farewell my fellow bloggers and I will get back to you soon with my next encounter in Maycomb County.